Guilt Tripping (TW)

Take a walk they say

Why didn't you do it properly 

Making me feel like a failure at my lowest 

Sat in a hospital bed wishing my heart monitor wasn't beeping 

A guilt trip for those a car ride away 

Pills floating on my system causing turmoils of stomach pain and a regret that I sought help

You ask me questions as if I know the answer 

Asking me why, how, why again 

You expect a person who doesn't want to feel anymore to seek the keys to an eternal life 

A walk will fix you, a hot bath and safeguarding measures as if you expect anything but razors and pills to fix how the system you implement on me isn't killing me 

Hours or years on a waiting list for my burial yet you want me to skip the queue your systems make me want to wait in